Been done for ten days in Korea, but been vacationing in Japan during. Here’s some wrap up thoughts on the experience, and it’s me ranting (so don’t expect much flow, just puking thoughts onto the page. It’s how I write, stream of consciousness, get over it.) in Incheon Airport in Seoul because it stirred up some memories.
Let me preface this post with the fact that it was an awesome experience and the people IN LAB (see next post) were incredibly nice. Having known what I know now, I would still choose do to this experience given the choice at the beginning of the year. However, if I had to do the experience now, again, for 2 additional months, I would have to politely refuse staying longer in Korea.
See, this experience has taught me that I seriously don’t belong in Asian culture. Sure, I got privileges of being an ignorant guest, but towards the end of it, I was expected to follow custom, such as bowing to professors, even if they weren’t mine, shit like that. And I like the IDEA of society first, individual later. I try to put other’s needs before mine in ‘Merica, but when an entire society does it, it suppresses the individualism that I so cherish in American culture. I feel like Korea, and maybe East Asia in general, are a society rather than a collection of individuals like it is in ‘Merica. You are more than likely to find the same values, thoughts, and reactions from individual Korean to another Korean. Why? Because the culture is so homogenous and if you stick out, you are hammered to conform to everyone else. One of the members of the IRES remarked once: “I remember someone once told me that if everyone was the same, life would be pretty boring.” I experienced it to some degree in Korea. The men and women were like carbon copies of each other. The ones whose names I remembered and became friends with had more personality than others and showed it regularly, until occasions called for their silent obedience to the elders. Like two sides of a coin; one a vibrant person who jokes and jostles, the next moment a lackey getting the professors shoes after the soccer game.
Age rules all here. Without fail, I would first be asked my name and then my age, so I could be properly placed into their age hierarchy. At this rule supersedes everything. If your senior is a lazy asshole who does no work, and takes credit for yours, you still have to pay respect just because he is older than you. This is what really sucked about Korean culture. Fuck that. You earn respect through your own personal actions, not by some happenstance that both parties had no control over.
And everyone was fine with this!!! It was normal!!! I wanted to ask them, “Aren’t you frustrated?!? Don’t you want to speak your mind, tell your seniors sometimes to shove it and that you can make your own decisions?!?” But I didn’t since I didn’t want to be disrespectful to their culture. I’m a filthy American, what the hell do I know about society order and following social bullshit?
Korean/Asian women born here seem to lack a whole lot of personality. Most were giggling masses of hands over mouths since they are way too shy to talk, or seemingly mindless girls who could only make small talk. And their interactions with boys/men were so….childish. Like they were stuck in highschool or grade school! I couldn’t believe that some of the women in lab were older than I was based on how they acted! I dunno what happens, but I can only venture a guess; both Korean and Japanese highschools are brutal academically, described to me like bioengineering at the Junior level with the amount of work. Every Asian student goes through highschool, studying all the time with what seems to be little interactions with others, specially the opposite sex. All the kids I see running around are so full of energy and fun and PERSONALITY! What the hell happened between these kids and the adults? Most students I talked to were only interested in going through school as quick as possible, getting their masters degree, getting a job and getting married. All of them. Nothing else seemed possible. No travel, no revelation in science, no real interest in the research they were doing. Just a means to an end.
The society seemed to be stuck in a loop of being just like everyone else, and I couldn’t stand another week of it.
But what do I know? I’m just a filthy foreigner.
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